Ahhhhh!

It's finished! Five months and hundreds of pages later, my first book is finished. I am so excited, it's hard to sit still. I've read and reread, edited and re-edited and I'm quite pleased with the finished product. I have passed on a copy to a select few to read and give me their opinion so now I just sit and wait...anxiously. My dream would be to have it published. Along with the next books that I have planned (some of which are already being outlined). I've already looked into the publishing process and I have a game plan. But for now, I am just living on the high of having completed my book!

Voices In My Head

My dear friends, let me start by apologizing for abandoning my blog lately. I haven't forgotten all three of you, I've just been a little distracted lately. Nothing major has happened, no crisis to deal with. Life just continues as always, busy but nothing unusual.

The problem is all these voices in my head. They have been consuming my every waking moment and I'm afraid I've been inclined to give in to them.

Let me explain. When CJ went to TX over Christmas, I didn't do much sleeping. I read a new book every day and stayed up all hours in an effort to not have to go to bed alone. During this time, an idea starting forming in my head. If I was to write a book, what would I write about? Characters started to take shape, plots began to form, and I tried to keep up with all of it. I started writing a book. Honestly, it's more like five books.

You see, my characters are a family of five siblings. Each one is given their own book in which to tell their story of finding the love of their life. I would love to be able to say that I'm writing some deep, motivational guide or an educational children's story, but alas, it is merely romantic fluff. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But since they've been created, each character has been competing for space in my head and time at my keyboard. If my brain is not actively involved in my current activity, then it is filled with their voices. They're telling me what they want to do, how they act, what they like and don't like. They're revealing their personalities and shedding light on their individual plots.

Currently, I'm working on my fourth (or fifth) draft of my first novel. It's so close to being complete I can almost taste it. But darn it if life doesn't keep getting in the way. There are children that need to be fed and taught, a house that needs to be cleaned, a garden to be cared for, family, friends, church, chores and errands. Each one can be an unwelcome intrusion to my obsessive mind.

I want nothing more than to finish with this first book because the second one is already writing itself out in my head. I have outlined my story but when I sit down to write, it sometimes takes a different turn. The words flow out of my head faster than I can keep up and I have no choice but to hang on and enjoy the ride, anxious to see how it will turn out. It feels like the book is already written and I'm just struggling to match up the right words.

Even now, as I write this, my characters are yelling at me, demanding to be heard. How dare I spend a few minutes on my blog when that is precious time I could be using to bring them to life. Forget eating, just write. Kids don't really need clean underwear, write instead of doing laundry. Standing in line somewhere? Grab a notepad and write. Sleep is overrated, write instead. When I'm washing dishes, mowing the lawn, working in the garden, walking around the track, taking a shower, driving the car--all of these activities only serve to give free reign to my imagination and the people living there.

So please forgive me for neglecting you. I'm afraid there are others who have been more insistent in commanding my attention.

Saint Easter Fairy

I grew up believing in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. I can't tell you exactly when I found out the truth about each one but I don't remember being very traumatized. It just seemed like a fun tradition, so when I had my own kids, I kept that tradition going. Recently, I've been second-guessing the wisdom in keeping those traditions alive. Do I really want to have to explain to my children that I've been lying to them all this time?

Doing without these traditions has benefits though. We've had to leave the Tooth Fairy notes on more than one occasion explaining that there was a tooth left but she probably couldn't find it under all the pillows so could she please come back and try it again? We were as polite as possible even though I knew full well that Tooth Fairy just fell asleep on the job!

The belief of Santa Claus brings with it an endless amount of questions that you have to try and come up with an answer for. Questions such as: How do reindeer fly? How can Santa get in when we don't have a chimney? I haven't been good all year, am I going to get coal? Why didn't Santa get me (fill in the blank) from my list? We provide answers for all of these but it's only more lies. And how do you tie Santa into the birth of Jesus?

The Easter Bunny is even harder to explain. We're supposed to be celebrating the resurrection of Jesus and in order to do that, we put on new, frilly clothes and have a giant bunny come and hide colorful eggs that may or may not be filled with candy and treats. Where was the connection again?

I don't mind giving my kids a quarter or fifty cents when they lose a tooth; it's fun. But why does it have to be the Tooth Fairy that does it? Why can't it be Mom and Dad?

Why couldn't we explain the true story of St. Nicholas and let our kids know that Santa is really the spirit of Christmas? That the point is to look out for others the way that God was looking out for us when He gave us Jesus?

Why can't we have an Easter celebration without a giant rabbit? Couldn't we have an egg hunt and let the kids know that the eggs represent new life, the new life we have with Jesus? Couldn't it be about God instead of bunnies and candy?

The thing about starting my kids on these beliefs is I don't know how to stop them. My kids are 10, 8, and 6 and they all believe 100% in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I've decided to tell them the truth before but I always sabotage myself. Before we went to Grandma's last night to dye eggs, I had decided that when we were done, I would tell the kids the truth about the Easter Bunny. Well, on the way home, a small brown bunny ran across the road. I stopped the car so all the kids could see it. When it finally ran off in a flash of white fluffy tail, I turned to the kids with uncontrolled enthusiasm and said, "Maybe it's the Easter Bunny!" What is wrong with me?! Of course the kids were excited. They thought it was great that they got to see the real Easter Bunny. Corban decided after we got home that maybe it wasn't actually the Easter Bunny, but he knows the real one is out there. So that meant I had to be the Easter Bunny for another year. They found eggs around the house this morning that you-know-who must have hid. It certainly couldn't have been Mommy and Daddy.

So how do I back track and get out of all this without breaking their hearts? I love to watch them light up whenever they think that one of the Trifecta of Holiday Gift-Givers has been to see them. They're so sweet. But it can't last forever. Sometimes I feel bad that I've let it go on this long, much less started it altogether. Because, really, Santa and the Easter Bunny and Miss Fairy have nothing to do with their respective holidays. They are NOT what my kids should be focused on. The question is, do I tell them now or do I let them find out on their own?

To Sassy, From God

God is so good. Last night, Sassy and I were heading to a baby shower. We were driving and listening to the Christian music station when her favorite song came on, "Here I am to Worship." She sang along quite enthusiastically and I soaked up every second of it. When the song was over, she asked if I thought "Our God is an Awesome God" was going to come on. It comes on occasionally but the odds of it coming on before we got to the church building were slim so I just answered a generic, "I don't know." Another song came on and her question was forgotten. But when that song was over, just as we were exiting the freeway, "Our God is an Awesome God" began to play. We were very excited and I told Sassy that God was playing it just for her. But that wasn't all He had in store. We noticed a rainbow in the sky as the song was playing. It's probably been years since we've seen one. But here we were, listening to her song and looking at this beautiful sign from God. As we pulled into the parking lot, the song ended and the rainbow was blocked from sight, but I made sure she knew that she'd just been given a very special gift from God. I'm so thankful that He made Himself known to her in that way. God is so very good.

A Good OCD Day

I was walking through Walmart the other day, looking at all the Easter goodies when I saw it. It was as if someone read my mind and put up a display just for me. Just looking at it made me happy. They had arranged all the Easter candy by color. One whole section of the aisle was just for the yellow candy. Yellow peeps, yellow M&Ms, yellow suckers, yellow cookies. And then there was pink, green, orange, blue. Each little section was color coordinated. It was a dream come true. You laugh, but looking at it made it seem that everything was right in the world somehow. Why can't everything be arranged like this?

I love walking through fabric stores and seeing the bolts of calico lined up by their colors. I love passing the aisles of scrapbooking paper or ribbon or anything else that is arranged this way. Even swatches make me smile.

I love to see things organized and in their place. Of course, you wouldn't know it by looking at my house. I love to organize, not clean and yes, there is a difference. My favorite articles in my scrapbooking magazine are the ones that show other crafter's workrooms. I finally got a room like that of my own. I can sit and look at everything for hours. I think I'd rather sit and look at the nice organization than actually make anything in there.

The other day I went to my mom's and organized her pantry and finished putting her office together. It was a good day. I like it when everything has its place. In my house, most everything has a place, it just isn't always in it. And I'm okay with that sometimes. As long as I know that it has a place to go whenever I get around to cleaning.

My kids get frustrated because I'm always moving things around. But I can't help it if I think of a more efficient way to store something. That's just the nature of the beast. And while I am not actually OCD, those tendencies are quite obvious in many members of my family. The worst thing for my kids is they are just like me. Well, the boys are anyway. Poor things!

My husband surprised me with a great gift one day. He brought home a catalog for kitchen remodeling. It had all those great organizing things like drawer pull outs and pantry dividers and baskets and shelving. He's so good to me. And you know I love it when the IKEA catalog comes in the mail. Forget the furniture, I want to look at the space savers and bookshelves.

I would rather organize my scrapbook stuff than make a scrapbook, and I love to scrapbook. I need to make a career out of this but I'm not sure how. I've actually looked at the professional organization companies but I'd rather work for myself. Wouldn't it be great, though, to actually make money doing something you loved? What a concept.

Adventures in Autism: Peete vs. Peet

Adventures in Autism: Peete vs. Peet

World Autism Day

Today is World Autism Day. In honor of this day and of my Bubba who was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism at the age of 23 months, I wanted to share some stats about Autism. If your life has not been touched directly by Autism, you probably know someone who has. Please take a moment to read over this. Feel free to share it with anyone who may benefit.

Autism is a neurobiological disorder for which there is no known cause, prevention or cure.

1 in 150 people are diagnosed with Autism. It affects more people than pediatric cancer, diabetes and AIDS combined.

It occurs 4 times more often in boys than in girls.

Autism impairs the ability to communicate and relate to others.

It typically results in rigid routines and behaviors and can range from mild to quite severe (to the point of a person being "locked" inside themselves without the ability to communicate or even "notice" others).

Some children are this way from birth while others seem to have just "lost" skills and regressed (as was the case with Logan).

Parents are usually the first ones to detect anything is wrong while many pediatricians take a "let's wait and see" approach. As a result, many of us parents find ourselves having to educate our pediatricians in the latest research and therapies.

Early intervention is absolutely critical.

Intervention and therapy can include physical, occupational, and speech therapy; biomedical intervention; special diets; social training. All of these are expensive (speech therapy is around $200/hr) and most are not covered by insurance.

Every child has different symptoms and responds to different therapies. There is no one way or standard for treating this.

Raising a child with Autism is hard, very hard. It's a lifetime job. It's lonely, frustrating, maddening, sad, surprising, depressing, rewarding, draining.

Autistic children look "normal" and so if they act up in public, people assume that you just have a bratty child and should be disciplining better. Many are even quick to let you know what they think about your parenting.

Many couples with an Autistic child end up divorced.

Many pediatricians don't keep up with the latest information that comes up about Autism because it's all anecdotal. Meaning, there isn't concrete medical research to back it up. How can there be? Every child has different traits and responds to different things. There is no way to do any conclusive studies when that's the case. And the funding is definitely not there. And so moms of Autism are experts on the subject. We've read all the books, studied the research, tried every option. You have a question about Autism? Find a mom of Autism, not a doctor.

I feel especially lucky in that Bubba responded so well, so quickly to intervention but he will always have his "issues" and life wasn't always this easy. He lost speech around 13-14 months and didn't speak again until he was 4. CJ and I didn't go out together once in 3 years. For 3 or 4 years, I HATED going to church. It was just a battle of how long we could make it before Bubba was just too unmanageable and we would have to leave.

It's hard to call on even family and friends to help. If you're not even sure how to deal with your own child, how can you ask someone else to? Honestly, it's even hard to keep loving your own child when he's been biting you, screaming at you for hours, trying to claw your eyes out or even choking you, and all this during a time when you never hear him say mommy or daddy and definitely not I love you. Maybe he never will? How can you ask someone else to give him the same kind of unconditional love? It's not realistic. And so as moms, we are typically isolated and alone. No matter how many fits someone may have witnessed my son throw, they have never seen him at his worst. I'm not even sure if Dad (in my case at least since I'm the stay at home parent) has seen the depths that I have.

If it's possible to have a "typical" case of Autism, Bubba is not it. Most kids deal with more issues than he does. If you know Logan, he seems like a "normal" kid nowadays. This should not be your picture of Autism. Autism is not just having a quirky kid. If you know someone who has an Autistic child, just stop and give them a hug. It's nice to have physical contact that doesn't come from having to restrain or redirect a speeding freight train of energy and determination.

I know this is long, but if you read this, parents of Autistic children will thank you for taking the time to try to understand it better. God bless your day!